Nightmares and Secrets
by wildhoneyy
Summary: When the nightmares become unbearable, a case brings out what Ziva wanted to keep from the rest of the team forever, what she wanted to be just between her, Gibbs and Eli is forced to come to light. How will the rest of the team deal with it? About Ari.
1. Ari

_**When the nightmares become unbearable and the reminder of what she did nears, a case brings out what Ziva wanted to keep from the rest of the team forever, what she wanted to be just between her, Gibbs and Eli has to come to light. How will the rest of the team deal with it? And what happens when Ziva looses it in interrogation because of it?**_

**Nightmares and Secrets**

She woke up suddenly. Sweating. Panting. Wide eyed, as if she saw a ghost. She had nightmares often but, she didn't feel the same as she did when she dreamed of Saleem. "What had happened?" she thought to herself as she plopped her head back onto her pillow, "what had happened..." she fell back asleep.

_ "Ziva you must..." she was standing in front of her father's desk, it was the middle of the night in Israel, raining, "...understand. I can not let you go on this assignment. There is too much risk involved and, no. You are not going. You will be assigned here." _

_ She was shaking her head, right hand twitching, she was angry, "No, I must go on this assignment. He is my brother! And what if you're wrong..." _

_ "I AM NOT WRONG ABOUT THIS" Eli David was becoming increasingly angry, "I am not wrong about this, as much as it pains me to say it Ari has turned against us. Against Mossad. Against Israel. The fact that he is indeed, your brother Ziva is why I can not let you have this. Rabin is capable of doing this assignment." _

_ "I was there when he infiltrated in the first place! I've been there from the beginning..." _

_ "I know Ziva." _

_ "I'm taking this assignment Deputy Director David. I will not sit back and have some amateur take the life of another Mossad Officer, the life of my brother. I will see you when it is over." she turned around to leave, but stopped when she felt a hand on her shoulder._

_ "Ziva...Ziva..." _

_ "Yes?" _

_ "I know I can not argue with you. Maybe you are right, Be careful, watch yourself, watch Ari. I would rather loose Ari than loose you." _

_ She turned and looked into the fact of her father, concern was evident on his face, "I will contact you when I arrive, Abba." _

_ With that she left to America. To her brother. To an uncertain future. _

_ Pop. A gunshot...her brother on the floor...Gibb's thumb caressing her hand...Ari.._

She woke up again, when she heard the shot. Had she really heard it? She was not sure. What she now knew was that Ari, himself and her mission was what was plaguing her dreams.

She got out of bed and walked to her bedroom door, not bothering to turn on the light. She slipped out and what she felt next almost made her faint. She felt a a sharp pain in her left shoulder, like a bullet wound. She could have sworn she heard the laughter of her brother...but she just brushed it off as a side effect of her dream.

"I have completely lost it..." she told herself as she threw on her running clothes and headed into the early morning air.


	2. Ducky knows

A/N: Thanks you for the story alerts and such. I love you all so much, I'm not sure where I want this story to go, well actually I do. I just don't know how to get there, and I have NO idea why I wanted Ari to be a ghost...oh well. Well, this chapter sucksssssssssss ballllsssss, but I just wanted to introduce the fact that 1) Ari is ghost stalking Ziva and 2) Ducky is a main person in Ziva's life that knows all her insecurities, etc.

And for you all, PLEASE review. Please. 

Love, Gabbie. 

**Nightmares and Secrets**

She arrived to work earlier than everyone else, which was usual, but today under different circumstances. As she sat at her desk in the coming light of the sun lights she anxiously rubbed her shoulder. "How?" she kept asking herself as she became more and more uncomfortable in her seat, someone was watching her.

Ducky stood at a distance looking at the young agent. Something was bothering her, ever since she arrived back from Somalia he would find her seated at her desk with a face of uncertainty, a face of a ghost. But when he saw her rub her shoulder with a confused look he knew something else was bothering her today, something that had been bothering her for a long time.

He concluded this after mentally reviewing her medical report upon her return, there was no injury to her left shoulder in Somalia, or any of her shoulders that is.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the slight movement of her stiffening in her chair, she sensed him. "She is what Anthony calls a 'Ninja'" he chuckled to himself, he decided to approach her.

"Why good morning my dear." he said as he made his way into the bullpen, "You are here quite early."

"Ducky, you were not watching me where you?" a startled look still placed on her face.

"Why, only for a brief moment until I saw that it was you here this morning, why? Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing is wrong. I just, I just felt like someone was watching me, and it lasted more than a brief moment Ducky..." the last part was whispered, "it was not you Ducky."

"Well my dear, I have seen noone else on this floor besides you and I...''

She just looked down, ashamed.

"Was it..."  
>"No, no Ducky. It was not me being paranoid about Saleem. No, not this time." she looked at him. He was the only person that she would show this kind of emotion to, "It was...it was Ari."<p> 


End file.
